Canadians love to talk about the weather. Absolutely adore it. Up here in the frozen north, discoursing about the weather has been referred to as “Canada’s National Sport”**.
Whole conversations revolve around the weather. “Cold enough for ya?” or “It’s cold, eh?” are both frequently used to greet friends, lovers, business acquaintances, and can even serve as an introduction to a stranger on the street. They are the beginning of conversations so vast that they can cover politics, the economy, and the only thing important to Canadians other than the weather – Hockey Night in Canada.
This is especially true of winter – Canadians will silently & heroically solider through the summer, despite monsoon rains, temperatures in the upper 30s, and swarms of mosquitoes so large they frequently devour small pets. But the coming of winter releases the raconteur that dwells in each Canadian heart.
EVERY Canadian has at least one war story about the time they battled Mother Nature/ Jack Frost/ F***ing Winter. Even I have succumbed to the lure of telling about ‘the time I nearly got frostbite on my thighs’ or ‘how I used to walk home from school in -30 celcius weather’ or ‘how I dared to use transit & then actually walk to the university library in -40 weather’. And I am nothing to pure-bred Canadians, who fondly recall snowdrifts higher than their houses, how winter lasted 10 months in their area of the country (versus the average 9 every Canadian will tell you about), how they used to send their young to school in a sleigh harnessed to the dog’s back. They tell stories of menacing polar bears, frozen roads, blizzards that last weeks, and power failures that last for months.
In Canada, you prove your toughness by standing up to the weather, by proudly defying it. For men, this means going out & about in shorts when it’s ‘nippy’, and when it is truly ‘chilly’ (-20 or below), with an un-zipped parka, sans gloves or hat. For women, it means avoiding hats so that your hair still looks good, wearing stiletto boots or high-heels despite the 6 feet of snow piled up at street corners & going shopping at the mall in defiance of the severe- weather warning placed on their city. When inside, this toughness is continued by running around in bare feet at home, refusing to turn up the heat or add extra blankets to the bed, no matter how cold it gets, and, while at work, to go around in short-sleeved shirts while the air-conditioning runs at full-force.
This is, simply, “The Canadian Way”. To defy it or protest against is futile- you will be seen as weak, as unpatriotic, and, if you continue to defy & complain that it really IS COLD, you will be assimilated by force until you too, can proudly stand up and declare:
“You Call this Cold?! You should have been here for Winter ’97, when the mercury froze in the thermometers, they closed all the schools down for a week & the snowdrifts were 12 feet high. Ahh, but you just don’t see winters like that anymore these days.”
*Please note: This is not a work of fiction. With the exception of the polar bears & the mosquitoes devouring small pets, Jo has either experienced all of the above, or knows/ is related to someone who has. At this moment in time, she is sitting on the 9th floor of a building where the air-conditioning is so strong it can be heard, while half the men on the floor are wearing golf shirts and outside, snow swirls around causing white-out conditions for the fifth day in a row. When she gets home, Jeff will have just come in from having a smoke on the balcony in bare feet.
**For more information about Canadian social habits & phenomenons, please check out the amazing Will Ferguson books "Why I hate Canadians" and "How to be a Canadian", which have inspired many of Jo's verbal & written rants about her bizzare fellow Canadians. Jo actually learnt how to act like a Canadian with the help of these important pieces of literature.
Whole conversations revolve around the weather. “Cold enough for ya?” or “It’s cold, eh?” are both frequently used to greet friends, lovers, business acquaintances, and can even serve as an introduction to a stranger on the street. They are the beginning of conversations so vast that they can cover politics, the economy, and the only thing important to Canadians other than the weather – Hockey Night in Canada.
This is especially true of winter – Canadians will silently & heroically solider through the summer, despite monsoon rains, temperatures in the upper 30s, and swarms of mosquitoes so large they frequently devour small pets. But the coming of winter releases the raconteur that dwells in each Canadian heart.
EVERY Canadian has at least one war story about the time they battled Mother Nature/ Jack Frost/ F***ing Winter. Even I have succumbed to the lure of telling about ‘the time I nearly got frostbite on my thighs’ or ‘how I used to walk home from school in -30 celcius weather’ or ‘how I dared to use transit & then actually walk to the university library in -40 weather’. And I am nothing to pure-bred Canadians, who fondly recall snowdrifts higher than their houses, how winter lasted 10 months in their area of the country (versus the average 9 every Canadian will tell you about), how they used to send their young to school in a sleigh harnessed to the dog’s back. They tell stories of menacing polar bears, frozen roads, blizzards that last weeks, and power failures that last for months.
In Canada, you prove your toughness by standing up to the weather, by proudly defying it. For men, this means going out & about in shorts when it’s ‘nippy’, and when it is truly ‘chilly’ (-20 or below), with an un-zipped parka, sans gloves or hat. For women, it means avoiding hats so that your hair still looks good, wearing stiletto boots or high-heels despite the 6 feet of snow piled up at street corners & going shopping at the mall in defiance of the severe- weather warning placed on their city. When inside, this toughness is continued by running around in bare feet at home, refusing to turn up the heat or add extra blankets to the bed, no matter how cold it gets, and, while at work, to go around in short-sleeved shirts while the air-conditioning runs at full-force.
This is, simply, “The Canadian Way”. To defy it or protest against is futile- you will be seen as weak, as unpatriotic, and, if you continue to defy & complain that it really IS COLD, you will be assimilated by force until you too, can proudly stand up and declare:
“You Call this Cold?! You should have been here for Winter ’97, when the mercury froze in the thermometers, they closed all the schools down for a week & the snowdrifts were 12 feet high. Ahh, but you just don’t see winters like that anymore these days.”
*Please note: This is not a work of fiction. With the exception of the polar bears & the mosquitoes devouring small pets, Jo has either experienced all of the above, or knows/ is related to someone who has. At this moment in time, she is sitting on the 9th floor of a building where the air-conditioning is so strong it can be heard, while half the men on the floor are wearing golf shirts and outside, snow swirls around causing white-out conditions for the fifth day in a row. When she gets home, Jeff will have just come in from having a smoke on the balcony in bare feet.
**For more information about Canadian social habits & phenomenons, please check out the amazing Will Ferguson books "Why I hate Canadians" and "How to be a Canadian", which have inspired many of Jo's verbal & written rants about her bizzare fellow Canadians. Jo actually learnt how to act like a Canadian with the help of these important pieces of literature.
The view from my sister's apartment. Vancouver is considered one of Canada's warmest cities.
2 comments:
Winter is why I live in Georgia. I grew up in Pennsylvania, Went to college in West Virginia (where yes, I did walk up hill-both ways- in snowstorms to get to school)that's what you get when you decide to go to school that is built on a mountain. I have rejected winter! I haven't seen snow in 5 years. Actually I'm starting to miss it. Maybe I need to go skiing.
Oh NGG, winter is like plague to me. I hate, hate, hate it! I experienced a little of that this past weekend in Buffalo and great googahmoogah! It just ain't right!
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