Sunday, August 9, 2009

It's about time

To update this blog.

It's been a long time since I typed, and yet so little has happened. Not because I got into a 'good place' and I've been happily going about my business, but because I've been lazing about, doing nothing as my business.

I've been uninspired and unmotivated, and I really need to change that... starting now.
So, this blog will go back to being a general catch-all for the outpourings of my brain.

I have no followers anymore, I don't know how many interesting things I have to write about. Afterall, I'm single, I live alone, I don't date, I have a boring job, and I tend to hide versus getting out there and trying new things. All I need to be the quissential cat lady is the cat, and I'm already seriously complemplating getting one (to the extent I was supposed to 'view' one today).

But, a new landmark is about to be hit - 28. I figured by 28 I'd be married (first to a guy I still talk to, next to a guy who if he ever tries talking to me again, I'll be examining restraining orders again), that I'd have travelled the world, be secure in my job, own a home, car, cat, and generally be loving life.

Instead, I feel like I haven't travelled at all (it's sad when your travel credientials only impress 18 yr olds or people who have never left Canada), am renting a place that frequently breaks down (I suppose I should be greatful for only loosing $100 worth of food when the freezer broke), cower at the idea of confrontation or responsibility (also known as 'no, I don't have any relationships, human or pet based') and I'm working as an assistant at a job that a friend appologized for calling 'monkey work' the other day.

What's sadder is that I had to tell the friend that even an untrained monkey could manage my work.

So, with 28 approaching like a runaway train, it's time. Time to take control of my life, to move on and up to better things. Time not just to examine my situation (I'm very good at couch-based, self-inflicted therapy sessions) but to actually DO something about it.

Actually live out my dreams, experience all there is out there to do. Take risks, have adventures, make some mistakes. Because you know, doing nothing is even more destructive and mistake-filed than doing something!

and if my year of introspection has taught me anything, it's that I was born to be out there interacting with others, versus shut away in my own little world!

So, this is my social experiment for the next year: to try as many new things as possible, to ALWAYS say yes to new experiences and to open up my horizions as much as possible. In the last year I tried:

- travelling for work
- travelling for dance
- went back to swing dancing
- tried out a book club
- made some new friends
- sleeping with someone on the first date (bad, VERY bad idea)
- falling in love at work (also a bad idea)
-visiting more of Canada
- travelling somewhere I really didn't want to (and it was fun!)
- hearing aids (still working on loving them)
- downhill skiing (totally terrifying fun!)
- burlesque dancing
- rock-climbing (love it!)

So, I need to keep going at this - I need to experience more & more, to make me happier and happier!

so, this week's accomplishments will be:
- create a filing system for myself during at home hours (uggh, but it's gotta happen)
- go climbing with A (hopefully)
- girl's night to celebrate my bday with M
- trip to Edmonton to dance for my birthday (MUST find ride and accomodations!)
- special project on Wednesday
- Start arranging the AGM/ open house for MCAA
- organize my birthday dinner with M&D.
- go to dance class on Wednesday (new sweet moves, here I come, whahoo!)

But, to make sure I actually do something that's new, I will:
SPEAK MY MIND at the Open house for SDC. I wanna be more involved and I want to see us all have a lot more fun! Screw fear of being ridiculed, I've been there for a year now and I'd love to step up my involvement a notch, but I have to talk to get that happening!

Ask M if we can try something for dinner that I have never had before. I will have to hunt something down in the next day :)

Absolutely kick ass at the specical experiment on Wednesday!

because this is the plan: be more outspoken, kinder, develop stronger relationships, try to mend two fences, get more involved in EVERYTHING I'm already into, and develop new interests, new forms of self-expression, and otherwise embrace and love life to its fullest.... even though it means totally sticking my neck out there and probably taking a LOT of spills.

But it's time - to stop sulking & hiding and get out there again!

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